Illegal Parking

Our legal system makes my head spin!  Today concludes the saga which began two months ago with the recognition of my amazing third world driving skills (aka, I got two tickets in one week).  I received certificates of recognition so I have proof that my driving skills are award winning.  Two tickets equals 5 points on my driving record, highest points win right!  Except, driving is scored like golf, darn it!  

The first of such recognition occurred as I was late to an orthodontist appointment.  Everyone knows that if you miss those, it's THREE YEARS before they will reschedule you!  I wasn't going to be late, so I was speeding.  I was going 20 over (I know shocking!).  He pulled me over and my main thought was "Crap, now I'm really going to be late."  Now that I'm forty, apparently my crow's feet don't allow me to get out of tickets like in past, but he was gracious and charged me for only going 1-10 over. 

The second was a week or so later, when I "yielded" at a stop sign (there was no one coming!).  I considered having my kids scream at the top of their lungs and as the cop approached I would stick my wrists out the window and say, "Just take me in officer, I could use a good night's sleep, peace and quiet, and a meal served to me which I didn't have to cook. It'll be like a retreat."  However, I settled for the lecture about my bad driving skills and accepted my "certificate".  Darn crow's feet! 

5 points on my driving record would triple my insurance, so I decided to go see the judge.  I went in the day after Christmas, there were only 4 crazy people who showed up to court that day (we've already established my sanity in previous posts).  I was called up first.  I was asked how I wanted to plea.  "Guilty" I said semi-quietly amid snickers in the courtroom. Who comes to traffic court and says their guilty? At least plea "No Contest."   The judge looked at me and smiled, "Are you sure?"  I told him I was sure, but I wanted to go to traffic school so I wouldn't have the points on my record. He said I had to plea "Not Guilty" and talk to the District Attorney for that.  I asked him what I was supposed to say to the district attorney when I'm NOT "Not Guilty".  He laughed and said, "You're 'Not Guilty,' I say so, come back on the 7th of January and talk to the District Attorney."  I walked out while the rest of the people in court gave me smiles and thumbs up, like I had just won the lottery. A friend later said, "Did you feel like Jesus was declaring you not guilty"  Ha! 

Illegal Parking

So, this morning was the day.  I had to meet with the District Attorney.  He calls my name and says, "So, you pleaded 'Not Guilty' to these two tickets” I told him I had pleaded both guilty, and, to clarify, NOT "not guilty", but the judge pleaded on my behalf "Not Guilty" and said I needed to talk to the District Attorney about the points.  He laughed and I proceded to tell him my story about yielding instead of stopping, speeding to the ortho appt. and that my 3 years as a missionary in Guatemala didn't help my ability to obey traffic rules.  In the end, he told me I was the first the first person in all his years as a District Attorney who admitted guilt and he changed my failure to stop at a stop sign to illegal parking which is zero points on my record.  

I learned a $240 lesson, obey traffic rules... and be honest!  I also learned that when I pick up my kids' friends and my kids tell them "You'll like my mom's driving, she drives fast."  I shouldn't be proud of that (although I kind-of was because I liked being the 'cool' fast driving mom).  Maybe I should change professions and go into race car driving.